Category: Writers Block
I'm not grumpy
I'm just cautious
not trying to sound frumpy
just tired of feeling nauseous
good things don't come easily to me
cuz they always turn so quickly, you see
so I have a hard time feeling happy and such
but I want it, I want it so much
I have trust issues I guess
but it's proven time and time again
that it all turns into one big mess
I remember when I first went to counseling
that was the start of it all
I was so scared and frozen up
I was headed for a fall
I remember trying to talk about myself
and how hard that really was
and how I had to get a psychologist
to help explain the buzz
that was inside of me
not leaving me alone
had it all my life
but now that I focused on it, it shone
and how she evaluated me
and sent me on my way
to my psychiatrist for meds
what else can I say
I still forget that I am bp
I have no time for it now
I put it out of my mind
and am trying to find my way somehow
but it affects me everyday
I can't get away from it you see
sometimes I feel sorry for myself
and wonder why it happened to me
but then I forget and get on with my day
there is so much to do and so little time
i won't let bp get in my way
but I still get this feeling
everytime I remember
that I am mentally ill and all that stuff
and that it's almost december
a time where my feelings usually go
right out of control
but i'm holding on and hangin in
keeping the hurt buried deep within my soul
so don't call me grumpy
i really don't deserve that
I'm just trying to survive with the good and the bad
while wearing this bp hat